#TezukaFuji, Sitcom Script
"Fuji's Birthday Bonus Scene: Mini-Drama"
"I think content with too much text isn't really suitable for turning into a comic, haha.
Please imagine the following as a sitcom or comedy skit. Then, automatically add canned laughter at the appropriate moments."
Scene 1: Tennis Club Room
Characters: A whole bunch
Momoshiro: Fuji-senpai. The green part of this cake... it’s not wasabi-flavored, is it?
Fuji: Probably not. My sister made this cake herself.
Echizen: Why does it have to be shaped like a bear?
Oishi: It’s so strange. Tezuka still hasn’t shown up. Could something have happened?
Yuuta: Don’t worry. My sister is still on the way too.
Oishi: Like what? Maybe while walking here, he suddenly got the urge to fish, went to the seaside, and lost his left hand to a vengeful shark?
Fuji: That does sound like something that could happen.
Yuuta: No way! Come on!!
Kikumaru: Fuji! Can I have the biggest strawberry on the cake later?
Fuji: Sure.
Yuuta: Syusuke! you traitor! Didn’t you promise I could have it?!
Tezuka: Sorry I’m late.
Everyone: ????? (Meanwhile, Echizen accidentally sprays the ponta he was drinking.)
Fuji (applauding): Hahahaha, nice one.
Kaido: Captain... what’s with this look?
Inui: Fascinating data obtained...
Tezuka: It’s a long story.
Fuji: It’s not because Tezuka has gone nuts, though. Let me explain to everyone.
Momoshiro: I want to laugh but I’m scared to.
Echizen: I feel a little sympathy for the captain...
Fuji: Oh, by the way, I’d like to take a picture with Tezuka as he is now. Taka-san, could you help me take it?
Kawamura: Uh, sure...
Tezuka: Fuji!
(Grabs the collar of the 167cm troublemaker.)
Tezuka: Didn’t our contract state... no photos, no videos, no sketches?! Are you looking for laps to run?
Fuji: Oh, that’s right! Sorry, sorry, I forgot.
Oishi: ...Contract?
Flashback: Three Days Ago (February 27)
Scene 2: By the Harbor
Characters: Two fishing maniacs
Fuji: Tezuka.
Tezuka: What?
Fuji: It’ll be my birthday in three days.
Tezuka: Yes, I know.
Fuji: I’ve been waiting for a long time...
Tezuka: Waiting for what?
Fuji: Why... why won’t you perform Kikumaru Beam for me as a birthday gift?
Tezuka: Forget it. In several parallel futures, I also refused this. I’d rather listen to you say “Tezuka is older than Fuji” ten thousand times.
Fuji: But it’s not a hard thing to do. If it’s you, Tezuka, you can do it!
Tezuka: This isn’t about difficulty; it’s about dignity.
Fuji: So you’re saying Eiji doesn’t have dignity?
Tezuka: That’s not what I meant.
Fuji: On your birthday, I knelt down and proposed to you, discarding my own dignity. Why can’t you do the same for me just once?
Tezuka: You proposed my foot. I was too careless that day.
Fuji: I even gave you two light bulbs! (Pulls out a flyer.) Look, this says “Proposal-specific atmosphere lights: must be paired with a wedding ring, or you’re treating
your fiancée like a monkey.”
Tezuka: Those bulbs were so blinding I wanted to punch you.
Fuji: I know judo.
Tezuka: I’m aware.
Fuji: Who hits whom is still uncertain.
Tezuka: Would you really hit me?
Fuji: Depends on the weather.
Tezuka: What if it’s sunny?
Fuji: Uchi Mata (Inner Thigh Throw).
Tezuka: Cloudy?
Fuji: Juji Gatame (Cross Armlock).
Tezuka: Overcast?
Fuji: O Soto Gari (Major Outer Reap).
Tezuka: Rainy?
Fuji: Arashi no Yama (Stormy Mountain, from King of Fighters’ Goro Daimon).
Tezuka: Snowy?
Fuji: Athena’s Exclamation (Saint Seiya reference).
Tezuka: ?
Child: Mom, what are those two talking about? Are they meteorologists?
Mother: Don’t listen! They’re crazy. Let’s leave.
Tezuka: This is the first time in my life someone called me crazy.
Fuji: Well, usually people mistake you for a grade dean, university assistant, P.E. teacher, tax collector, outpatient doctor, or a farmer.
Tezuka: Ah.
Fuji: Oh, and also a host.
Tezuka: That last one is pure nonsense. People like that are clearly Oshitari or Atobe.
Fuji: Oh, right! (Claps hands.) You’ve also been mistaken for a Yamaguchi-gumi member and an Italian-American mafia boss.
Tezuka: That’s utter nonsense. That would be Sanada and Yukimura.
Fuji: Fine, fine. If you really don’t want to do it, then forget it.
Tezuka: Glad you understand.
Fuji: Tezuka... (About to say something.)
Tezuka: Don’t even think about saying something like, “If Shiraishi or Saeki performed Kikumaru Beam, they’d gladly do it.” That trick won’t work on me anymore.
Fuji: I know. I wasn’t going to say that. What are you thinking?
Tezuka (expressionless): ...
Fuji: Eiji’s skill isn’t something anyone can easily learn. At the very least, you’d have to be an Agility Hero. Oh, wait, Sanada from Rikkai seems like a good fit. I
suddenly really want to see him use Kikumaru Beam.
Tezuka (with Stark realizing he has a hole in his chest expression): ...
Fuji: If Atobe used Kikumaru Beam, wouldn’t it be cool? But that guy seems more like an Intelligence Hero, probably something like an Ogre Magi.
Tezuka (like a Naughty Dog fan seeing a golf club): ...
Fuji: Since that’s the case, Strength Heroes could try it too. Taka-san yelling “Kikumaru BEEEEAM” with his racket on fire—oh wait, it’d be “Kawamura BEEEEAM.” you
now.
Tezuka (with Nobunaga discovering Mitsuhide's betrayal expression): ...
Fuji: Oh, right, Kite from Higa can use Shukuchihou, so his agility must be high. Actually, it feels reasonable for the whole Higa team to practice Kikumaru Beam.
Tezuka (like someone killed by Slave Knight Gael 100 times): ...
Fuji: Maybe we could have Eiji personally teach Yuuta how to perform the Real Kikumaru Beam...
Tezuka: Are you a mosquito?! Buzzing on and on!
Fuji: No, I’m Bumblebee.
Tezuka (Error Code: 0xC000021A Description: System Initialization Failed Details: Module: KernelBase.dll): .........
Fuji: So, Tezuka—no, Kunimitsu.
Tezuka: ?
Fuji: You now have two choices.
Option A: Use Kikumaru Beam in your next match.
Option B: Cosplay Bumblebee on my birthday.
Otherwise, I’ll transfer to St. Rudolph.
Tezuka (Critical Error: 0xA0000002 Description: Fatal System Error Details:Module: ntoskrnl.exe Subsystem: Kernel Exception Code: 0xC0000221 Error Info: STATUS_IMAGE_NOT_FOUND Memory Dump: 0x0000000000000000 Stack Trace:0x00007FF8D2A7D7E60x00007FF8D2A5C1B50x00007FF8D28B9A6D0x00007FF8D28D48F6 System Status: Severe Failure Event ID: 0x5000F
Suggested Actions:Boot into Safe Mode and run a full virus scan.File System Check: Run sfc /scannow and chkdsk /F /R commands to repair potential file and disk issues.Driver Integrity: Verify and reinstall all critical drivers and system updates.Hardware Diagnostics: Conduct a thorough hardware check to identify potential memory or disk faults.): .........
Tezuka: ...Can’t I cosplay Optimus Prime instead?
Fuji: No, but I really want to cosplay Megatron.
Tezuka: What does that have to do with me not cosplaying Optimus Prime?
Fuji: Nothing.
Tezuka (Fatal System Error: 0xC0001001 Description: Unrecoverable System Crash Details: Module: winload.exe Subsystem: Core Boot
Exception Code: 0xC000009A ErrorInfo:STATUS_KERNEL_DATA_INPAGE_ERRORMemory Dump: 0xFFFFF88000940000 StackTrace:0x000000000002D6B00x0000000000030C720x000000000004A1F30x0000000000054F21 System Status: Fatal Crash Event ID: 0x6000F Severe Warning:The system has detected an unrecoverable crash. All user data might be affected. Immediate Actions Recommended:Back up all data and prepare to reinstall the operating system.): .........
Tezuka: ...Ich liebe dich.
Fuji: Don’t try to brush this off.
"Thank you for reading."
About Fuji Proposing to Tezuka with Light Bulbs
「不二が電球を使って手塚にプロポーズした話」
👇
